Tired of Whining

A couple of days ago, I went and saw Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix and, surprisingly, it taught me a lesson about life. Throughout the movie (or book rather), Harry constantly whines about how horrible his life is…how bad his conditions are…how no one understands him…What a crybaby right? In my mind, I consistently ridiculed him. It wasn’t until moments ago that I was doing what Harry was doing. No, I did not have an evil wizard trying to kill me, but I was/am being an annoying and selfish crybaby. Lately, all I’ve been doing was just thinking that I was the most miserable thing on earth because my family isn’t Christian. Sure, that isn’t a joyful thing, but if God has placed it on earth, it serves a purpose in glorifying him. So why am I whining and complaining? Maybe I was mad at God for not giving me what I wanted….I don’t know. I do know that I was being very selfish and bratty. In other words…I was being SPOILED. Now… I’m tired of being this immature whiny cry-baby. I’m breaking out of this mold…and hopefully be a little bit more joy ful in my everyday life….

Much love to my peeps.

Toe

A Servant's Heart

A Servant's Heart

Bowed before you

Humble and Thankful

Though what I do

Mucks up my soul

Impatience and Anger

Prideful and Selfish

These are worst than a tumor

For they are my heart's many blemish

You saved me from myself

I am broken and underserving

A new fire burns from within

I want to give you EVERYTHING

Torn

Torn

Torn between family

Torn between devotion

This I see daily

Its too much raw emotion

You wanted to guide me

Yet its pushing me away

I saw what I didn't want to see

Now I can't obey

Torn between family

Torn between God...

"Wisdom" of a Father

Since the beginning of this summer, I wanted a summer job. I wanted this job for two reasons: One was to earn more money than what im being paid at home and the Second was to be a little bit more independent from my parents. I honestly didn't want to rely on their help for EVERYTHING. Recently, I've been looking up summer jobs...from fast food...to Blockbuster...to working at Vons. When I had decided to work at Vons, my dad stopped me. Very abruptly. He sat me down and told me that I had my whole life ahead of me to earn money. He said that this was the time to study more at school. He then got into the many aspects of life that I didn't exactly wanted to think about in the summer time...such as COLLEGE...FUTURE CAREER...things like that. He had brought into perspective for me...

Just when he had given me things that I was actually gonna listen to...he had to pull something else: Religion. He had said that "religion was just 'guidelines' for one's life. To do good things and bad things." He had also hinted that religion should take a backseat to my studies. This was the observation of a man who had lived in the corrupt world for a much longer time than me...and of course it had influenced him as well. He lets me go to church, youth group, study bible. But he thinks of it as nothing more than a hobby.

I don't know whether to be angry or sad or what to do at this point about my dad. All i know that is i need some prayer...and God will take care of the rest.

Haircut...

Well it's not exactly a haircut...but my mom really hates my hair long...don't know why...but she wanted some of it cut...so i asked her to trim it. Yah...it's trimmed now.